We’re Here to PUMP YOU UP!

{ June 24, 2010 @ 4:36 pm } · { Uncategorized }

I took my big, fat, dimpled, white ass back to the gym. After sitting around on the aforementioned ass for the last six or seven months waiting for my sprained ankle to heal, I have become lumpy and lazy and lethargic. Spitting sounds.

Bob came with me this morning to help me put together a workout plan. Thanks Bob. However, he wanted to get an early start and be at my house by 6:30. That’s right,  I said six-fucking-thirty. Whatever. With this in mind, I set my alarm and went to bed a bit earlier than usual hoping to be well-rested for Dawn’s Excellent Workout Adventure, only to find, I was not at all tired. I got up, I went back to bed, I got up, back, up…sigh. Apparently, there was much sub-conscience gnashing of teeth and rendering of clothing (thanks for that Jen) and I believe I finally drifted off around 4 a.m. Craptacular. Bob said he was so worried about not getting up in time he didn’t sleep AT ALL.

I gotta tell you, the very first thing I did was put my water bottle on the front desk, bend down to tie my shoe, and the water bottle fell on my freaking head (and yes, it made a loud noise). Not an auspicious beginning. Seriously, I am so wimpy my spindly little arms were shaking after the first machine. I have the upper body strength of an elderly flea.  I did make it through Bob’s recommended workout routine, with the exception of crunches, I could only do ONE. Bwahahaha, stupid, weak baby!

The rest of the workout was uneventful, but fun, and now I have the energy of ten thousand burning suns! Yay.